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Happy Communist Anniversary!

June 24, 2011

Even Obama is getting in the spirit!

Grab your sickle and hammer its time to celebrate only the greatest form of government ever to be concieved! Here in the land of ultimate equality and happiness we are dropping some serious dime to show the world how great and happy we all are in China! There will be children in red bandanas dancing, parades, fire crackers, and I am almost positive there will be a dragon. Gelatinous cakes will be consumed and baijiu shots will be taken repeatedly on the command of “Gan Bei”.

Can you even believe it has been ninety years? My how time has flown! And so much has changed as a result!

for example, instead of Mao killing estimated totals of 70 million civilians, there is a one child policy!

Instead of old ancient art and artifacts, there are hundreds of new buildings under construction!

Instead of fresh air, the air is filled with strange, often unidentifiable substances!

Instead of the silk road, we have international companies flocking to the gates of China to set up shop.

Instead of Tibet being a sovereign nation….it has enthusiastically pledged its sovereignty and natural resources to the The People’s Republic.

Instead of 13 year old brides, we have 10 year old olympic gymnasts!

…I could keep going, but I think we should all take some time to reflect upon our own appreciation for communism and the incredible gains it has afforded the great nation of China. Three cheers! Gan Bei! Praise be to Buddha! Take all my money! Moniter as much of this blog as you want!

Ask not what Communism can do for you, but what you can do for Communism.

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One Comment leave one →
  1. Lisa permalink
    June 25, 2011 12:54 pm

    Heh…..Caroline said she didn’t think there was a Chinese word for sarcasm. You are probably safe. Did something happen?

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