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On Not Getting The Mrs. Degree

November 1, 2011

Call it a plateau, a slump, or a pause, but there comes a time in every girl’s college career when the idea of seeking the MRS degree seems infinitely more attractive than writing a paper or studying for yet another chinese test. The day dream passes, and with a sigh, the nose is back on the grind and we keep our fingers crossed that there is a job at the end of the tunnel.

This is not my story. I mulled this prospect over in a moment of complete unproductivity. I thought about being a housewife in the midst of doing absolutely nothing. It all started while I was reflecting on the off campus lifestyle. I often wonder why adults call off campus apartments that undergrads live in “transitional”.  Adults explain that it is an opportunity to adjust to a kitchen, locking a door, and rent. It is supposed to  signal that we are that much closer to the real world.

It dawned on me today….my transition into transitional living has developed into something of a hermit lifestyle.  There are days when the only thing that really requires that I leave the apartment is class.  I have food, internet, TV, a temperature controlled environment, and a full bathroom. Mondays are the only day during the week that I don’t have an afternoon job. With nothing due this week and a free afternoon….one would think that I would have been able to do whatever I wanted.

I did nothing. I had about 1 million things on my to do list:

1. Decide term paper topic

2. Clean My Room

3. Read for class

4. Workout

5. Write

Ok I had five. the fact that I sat around pretty much the entire day makes this even more pathetic. The problem is, yet again, I got sucked into the transitional apartment black hole where I see no one for hours and snack to the point that I almost considered eating the store bought boiled peanuts that my dad left in our fridge from parents weekend. Around hour five I considered baking.

Who am I???

On the days when I have the most commitments to academics and work, I have incredibly regimented and productive days. I go to bed feeling like I really went above and beyond carpe diem.  (I’d be pretty damn pissed at myself if I died today considering I went to bed feeling like a lazy bum) You better believe I would have had unfinished business.

The point is. I watched a lot of Bravo, which means I watched a lot of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Which got me thinking….could I live that lifestyle? Could I live at home alone all day left to my own devices? No. and there is a reason kelsey grammar’s ex is so nuts…she does absolutely nothing all day.  I realized I would make a terrible stay at home anything. Stay at home mom, stay at home work….I just can’t be at home without without anything impertinent to do.  Nothing gets done.

I would fail the MRS. final worse than my freshman econ final. I would be the worst housewife even in light of the feminist movement.  No laundry would be done, I probably wouldn’t cook, I would leave bills until the last minute, but you better believe I would know all the details about Kim Kardashian’s divorce.

I am a woman that needs a packed routine if there is any hope of getting anything done in my life.

Ideas for combating the transitional living blackhole lifestyle

1. Bring everything I need for the whole day with me to class. This means workout clothes, books, food, everything. This way, I have no excuse to go back to my apartment, forcing me to stay on campus.

2. Make lunch dates. Increasing social interaction is always a good idea for a junior not abroad. It reminds us that our friends will be back next semester, and it is important to maintain social skills and not slip into a black hole of awakwardness and transitional living.

3. Leave things places. This is ok to do at Davidson. It makes studying like a scavenger hunt, and it forces you to stay on campus longer. Its not efficient….but I failed econ, remember?

4. Caffeine.  An afternoon caffeine jolt prevents napping, and any excuse to go back to depot in the early afternoon.

With my new arsenal of ways to beat the depot apartment blues I am well on my way to improving my Monday productivity and overall junior well being.

I’m transitioning, look at that.

One Comment leave one →
  1. November 27, 2011 4:54 am

    A transitional lifestyle is a nice way to put it. I live off campus at UIUC. I definitely relate on the production variance, MWF are all G, but Tuesday/Thursday pose a challenge of motivation, the blackhole as you put it. I find it remarkable how long I can do nothing on two days of the week and everything on three, plus work on the weekends.

    I hope you are nothing as I am about getting to class on time in the morning.
    Seemingly always, cutting the commute each time I cruise to campus, I have often daydreamed becoming a nascar driver, while maintaining a healthy vigilance for the snorters in blue.

    Your comments/suggestions to fend off the dangerous lazy wednesday cycles go much appreciated and assuredly hilarious. Good luck on your quest, and if you find yourself in need of a good laugh, I owe you one.

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