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Leave Sympathy At The Door. Its Finals Time.

December 8, 2011

Do you know how long its been? Probably not, I lost track of how long its been since I posted, and you probably thought about it even less.

However, t’was the night before two finals and all through club libz,

Gen studied and studied and studied….until she couldn’t find the mental capacity to go along with the rhyme scheme. When I wasn’t studying, I wallowed in my own unproductive misery of how hard my finals were and how soon I had to leave to go home. Specifically: four finals, two papers, and four days to finish them.

My mother had very little sympathy, which she probably knew was a good strategy.  If I had known that my parents were so understanding of my academic plight, then perhaps I would not have studied in an angry rage to the extent that I have.  My roommates have done well to stay away….academic PMS is the worst kind.

Anyway, I have been perusing a few self help blogs to see what people were saying about surviving finals. Here are some of my favorite recommendations:

1. Don’t assume that you are already prepared for your exam and decide not to study.

so insightful. I was planning on taking my semester long cumulative history final completely cold. I guess I should maybe go back and look at the readings?

2. Don’t Cheat.

What? No cheating? I wasn’t aware that I wasn’t allowed to cheat on a final. Wow, this tip really changes things for me

4. Make sure to sleep and eat.

I heard about a scientific study that observed rats deprived of sleep. After two weeks, the rats died. But I didn’t think this applied to me until I read this tip. Now I know that despite the finals I have to take, I should still accomplish basic survival tasks. 

5. Stay calm.

Easier said than done. who doesn’t want a stress free finals?

This is my question. Why do people assume that when finals period comes around, it is important to remind college age people to do things that should be second nature, like sleeping or eating? I will tell you why. Because you might end up like this college freshman who sent me this picture at 3 am in her library:

Double Fisting and 3 AM

Don’t do this. This is my no nonsense survival guide to finals

1. Get off this blog and do your work. This list is not going to help you get an A in orgo. I am a History major. Get real.

2. Don’t study with your friends. I tried that last year with meredith kerr. I ended up looking at youtube videos and watching Greek on Netflix.

3. Study with people who aren’t your friends and in classes with you. They will keep you focused….and its nice to get out of your regular crowd every so often.

4. Don’t rationalize about how much time you have. Assume you have no time. No, you cannot go out on reading day. No, you cannot go on a two hour walmart run, and no, just because you are at a computer facebook chatting with yout friends in Florence does not mean you are actually studying.  and just get your work done so that you can sleep.

5. Save your breath about complaining, your mouth is for coffee and gum chewing during finals week.

6. Ironically enough…get dressed and shower. you will feel better about yourself and you won’t feel like a total shmuck.

7. Don’t complain to your parents. They really don’t want to hear it. A 50,000 dollar education is a gift you conceited victim.

my parents didn’t actually say that. Pure embellishment on my part. But now I did just give them license to really give me a piece of their mind.

And if you are one of my abroad biddies trying to figure out how to study for your non legitimate finals, For the sake of us all…don’t study in your dorm room. that doesn’t count as abroad….go to one of those quaint little cafes, order fifty esspressos, and study at a table outside. Really….I am abroad on Main Street at summit coffee right now….and I already feel my horizons starting to broaden.

Study break over.

2 Comments leave one →
  1. Anonymous permalink
    December 8, 2011 11:30 pm

    So funny! Good luck tomorrow with your 2 finals. Remember, your dad had 3 in 24hours, and had to walk both ways uphill, and in the snow.

  2. Caroline permalink
    December 9, 2011 5:08 am


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